Growing up on a budget in Houston Texas has affected my way of thinking as an adult and has made it a bit difficult to spoil myself.
I’m not going to sit here and dramatically tell you I was deprived of all the fine things in life because it’s not true.
I grew up with a roof over my head and delicious food to eat every day.
However, as an adult, after reading and being educated about what is considered a “comfortable living” I realize that I grew up in a lower middle class home.
I say “realize” because it is only when I compare my up bringing to others that I see some notable differences.
For example, I grew up traveling from point A to point B in the bus.
My dad was a waiter and my mom a home maker. My dad alone was the sole bread winner of a family of 5. Although we had a car, my dad would take it to work and since he pretty much worked long shifts and my mom didn’t know how to drive, we would travel to the store or to visit family using metro (our local bus line).
There’s also the fact that the four of us at the time, lived in a one bedroom apartment till I was 12.
Thrift stores, dollar stores, Auchan, food town, reduced lunch at school, no cable, those were all normal to me.
When you are young you take so many things for granted because you simply don’t understand and some things just don’t click till later.
>> I have two vivid memories.
1. Being embarrassed of where we shopped
I remember accompanying my mom to the thrift store across the street near my then elementary school. I would absolutely dread it. I would always complain to my mom when she told me we were going. I would walk at a distance behind her as she opened the door and I would look around before dashing inside so no one could see me.
I was in 5th grade when I felt that “shame”. How silly to think that somebody could possibly care where I go. But kids can be tough and back in the day (at least in my school) it was all about having name brand things (or at least pretending to have name brand things) and being cool.
2. Being embarrassed of not knowing I “should be embarrassed” of were we shopped
I grew up buying clothes from stores like Ross (which is still one of my faves). I remember during one of my friend’s birthday when I was around 16, we had gone to Ross to buy her present which ended up being a wallet.
It was my job to wrap it and I made the silly mistake of leaving the tag inside.
When she opened it in front of our group of friends one jokester said something along the lines of “Look! She got it from Ross. She must’ve bought it on sale!” and everyone laughed. Then to make matters worse the birthday girl rebutted with “Omg I guess that’s your favorite store because you buy everything from there” more laughs…
I kinda halfheartedly laughed because I didn’t quite understand what the joke was.
And then it hit me.
The thought of stepping foot in that store was a joke to them. The thought of buying something on sale seemed to automatically be connected to being cheap.
I know, I know. The slogan of the store is literally Ross. Dress for Less.
But honestly I never knew of such slogan until I started seeing commercials of it on tv lol. To me that was the “nice” store to get “nice things from. I thought to myself, if that’s not a nice store then what is?
So yes, I grew up on a budget or with the notion that money is always scarce and should be spent as minimally as possible.
But growing up being thrifty, frugal, or a penny pincher if you must label me, came with it’s pros and cons.
Sometimes it’s good because as an adult I always shop for bargains and compare prices to make sure I get a good deal so I end up saving money.
However, the flip side is that I have THE HARDEST time buying “nice” things for myself. I can be in need of a new pair of shoes and I will think of 100 million reasons why I can keep using the ones I have until they can’t go no more or reasons why it would be best to “wait” to buy them.
I want them, but do I really need them?
I ask myself that all the time. And that’s a good thing to ask yourself on a big purchase, but my inner penny pincher gets ridiculous sometimes.
>> Read along to be horrified…
//// insert witty cartoon/drawing here ////
1. Panties on sale, 5 for $20
2. zoom into my face , my eye twitching
3. “5 panties for $20! that’s too much”
Yes, believe it or not, I actually thought that was too expensive. For panties!? What was I expecting two for a dollar? (I think I might have seen that deal somewhere, but I digress). It was not until I was saying it out loud that I heard how ridiculous I sounded.
When it comes to technology I also try to save $$$. (Don’t get me started on how I will never buy an iPhone.)
I bought the Samsung galaxy S8 a few months ago after having the Samsung galaxy 5 for so long. I usually take care of my phones so I don’t upgrade until they start glitching, which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing.
I recently found myself in need of a laptop and I went through the whole shopping around for prices process that I am so used to. After looking at an overwhelming number of options online, my boyfriend convinced me to check out the local Best Buy to see if we could just buy one on the spot.
Now you’ve never shopped with me, so you wouldn’t know this, but I TAKE MY TIME. I love going through aisles of things, reading their descriptions, checking out their specs and pricing. However, after looking at different laptops there was one that caught my eye. As I got closer I saw it had a bad**s Star Wars Graphic on its cover.
I secretly fell in love with it, but automatically shut down the idea of purchasing it.
As I listed the “negative buts” of why we couldn’t buy that laptop, my boyfriend came back at me with the “positive buts” of why we should. Apart from the bad**s graphic, the fact I’m a Star Wars fan, and I’ve always talked about wanting that style of laptop, he convinced me with a “you deserve it”.
A modern day TREAT YO SELF if you will.
And I snapped out of my frugal bubble and he put the money for what really was a deal. A more expensive deal than the ones I’m used to, but a deal nonetheless. And now I own this adorable little laptop that makes me smile every time I pick it up.
I’ve gone as far as delaying a haircut for the purpose of saving money
I’m sorry, and I don’t mean to offend any wonderful and talented stylists out there, but I simply can’t wrap my head around getting charged $100+ for a simple haircut. I don’t have a “go-to” favorite hair stylist so I’ve been going to the most “economic” places to get a trim. However, it had been about a year since my last cut and I wasn’t really happy with the outcome of that one in the first place but I had just gone through the routine for the sake of it.
I had mentioned to my boyfriend that I wanted to get a new haircut for a few weeks. But due to my procrastinating and frugal habits combined I had not done it. He once again snapped me out of my frugal bubble and literally gave me the push to get it done.
And I did.
With a nice and professional stylist who cost twice as much as my last haircut, but it was worth it.
As much as I cringe at my snobby, silly, shameful 13 year old self for not being grateful of what I had and caring about what other people thought, I think it was important to go through that stage.
Because now I reflect back on my up bringing and I appreciate all that my parents did for me. I know they did the best with what we had and what matters most about my childhood is that love was never missing. My parents are the sweetest and my family is very close.
Yes, I still shop at thrift stores and I go to Ross and I try to save money wherever I can, not because that’s all I know, but because that’s one of the skills I’ve learned and I am happy I did.
Many people are in debt these days living above their means and trying to keep up with the Joneses, but I’ve learned that:
- Material things are not important. You come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing.
- Although money can buy many things it cannot buy love.
- Unless people are paying your bills it’s none of their business where or how you choose to spend your money.
- Treating yourself once in a while is part of self care and you should not feel guilty for a healthy indulgence.
If growing up on a budget was one of the only “discomforts” I faced while growing up (if you could even call it that) then I consider myself pretty darn lucky.
Great Read!